Salvation
by Hotly81173
Summary: What happens when one of their own becomes the next target for a deranged UNSUB? Will the team get there in time?
1. Epilogue

**Salvation**

**Summary: What happens when one of their own becomes the next target for a deranged UNSUB? Will the team get there in time?**

**Disclaimer: As much as I would like to believe that I own Criminal Minds I sadly do not. **

**Prologue**

May 30th 2012

Hotch buttoned his shirt as he stared across the room at her lying on the bed. She watched him intently, knowing what was coming, but still dreading hearing him say it.

"As much as I want too, we can't do this again Emily." and there it was.

"I understand, really Hotch. I know it was just sex Hotch. We just let things get out of hand in the heat of the moment." she said and turned her head away, in fear he might see the tears forming in her eyes.

"That's not what I mean Emily and I think you know me better than that. If it was just about sex we wouldn't have let it happen. I am just sorry I can't offer you more; be the man you deserve."

"Who said you weren't? Maybe you are exactly what I need. I'm sorry about Beth though. I never meant to come between you." Emily said quietly.

"Emily it is not your fault. If there had been anything real between Beth and I, then this would never have happened. I think you know that too. She saw it at JJ's wedding. She knew she could never compete with you and she was right. She never meant to me what you mean to me. We just can't do this; you deciding to stay has changed everything. There are rules and I won't let you take the chance of ruining your career. I am not ready to step down from my job and I would never ask you to either." he said stepping closer to the bed.

"It's fine Aaron. I wouldn't ask you to choose between your job and me any way. I know how much it means to you and your right, there are rules and we need to go by them. I'm just sorry things couldn't be different." She felt a single tear escape the hold she had on it, and it slid down her cheek.

Hotch wiped the tear away with his thumb as he cupped her face.

"I care about you Emily, I really do and I am sorry." He said and then he bent down and kissed her tenderly before turning and leaving her bedroom and then her apartment.

He stood outside her apartment door, his hand pressed to the wood. He closed his eyes and whispered "I love you Emily" and then he left, the tears rolling down his face.

July 18th 2012 Colorado Springs, Colorado

It had been seven weeks since Hotch and Emily had spent the night together. Seven weeks since their world had changed. They had returned to work and went about their work as if nothing had happened. They were both good at covering up their feelings while at work. Once they went their separate ways after work, was a different story.

Hotch had been leaving the office earlier and spending more time with Jack, trying to ease the pain he was feeling. The pain his heart was feeling. He knew it was for the best but it didn't make it any easier. He hurt and there was nothing he could do to ease that pain. He had hurt her and he knew that, and there was nothing he could do about that either. No matter how much he wanted too.

Emily had turned to to crying herself to sleep most nights. She would lay in bed and the pillow he had slept on that night; it still smelled of him a little. She couldn't bring herself to wash the pillow case yet, she needed that closeness. Even if it was from just a scent, a memory she needed that connection.

The team had been in Colorado Springs for three days, trying to get ahead of the UNSUB. They had four bodies, all women in there mid to late thirties, black hair and brown eyes. They all saw the resemblance Emily had with the victims but none said a word.

The victims were all found in different locations in Pike National Forest. The team had their work cut out for them; it wasn't easy to cover six hundred and forty four thousand acres. They had called in the National Guard to help search for more victims. With no new leads and no suspects the team would have to leave soon for higher priority cases. Cases they could actually do some good on.

But soon the teams' priorities would change and none of them would be able to even think about what the outcome could be.


	2. Missing

**Chapter 1**

**Missing**

It was cold and dark and she could smell her blood in the air. She reached a hand up to the back of her head and pulled it back down, feeling the stickiness of the blood on her fingertips. She knew she had dropped her cell phone when she was hit in the back of the head while on her way back to the hotel. She felt her hip for her gun but of course her holster was empty. She slid her hand down her leg to her ankle but her back up piece was gone as well.

She could make out the inside of the trunk a little from the light coming from the taillights. She searched around the small space for something she could use as a weapon but found nothing. Now what? Her head was hurting, but she had felt worse and lived through worse pain than this. The pain didn't bother her as much as the dizziness in her head did.

All she knew was that she could tell they were moving up the mountain by the change of pressure in her ears. She could tell the road was curvy the way she rolled around in the trunk. When they finally did stop she knew the only thing she would be able to do was try to fight. Fight for her life and the life of her unborn baby; her and Aaron's baby. Now all she wished was that she had told him about the baby, but maybe it was good that he didn't know. If she didn't make it out of this then he wouldn't have to suffer knowing that he had lost a child as well as a colleague.

**Back at the precinct.**

"Has anybody seen Prentiss come back from the hotel yet?" Hotch asked the rest of the team.

"No, I haven't seen her yet. Do you want me to go get her?" JJ asked.

"No, I'll go. Reid, JJ keep working on geographical profile. Morgan you and Dave get with Garcia and recheck the victimology. See if we missed something that connects the victims to each other. I'll be back in a minute with Prentiss." Hotch said and then turned around and walked out of the room they were assigned to use.

Hotch walked out of the precinct with one thing on his mind, Emily. He took a left outside and headed up the block toward the hotel they were staying at. It was a block and half up the road so he knew she would have just walked back instead of drive. As he walked his mind wondered back to that night he had spent in her arms. He knew he shouldn't have kissed her, but it was what they both had wanted for so long.

She had left the office early that day and he had been concerned about her. He had gone to her apartment to check on her, he needed to make sure she was okay. To be honest he just needed to see her. He got there and she had let him in; with no pretense of why he was there. She knew what he wanted, she talked to him like she had promised to and had done so many times before. The kiss had happened when he was going to leave and she had walked him to the door. She had leaned in a kissed him on the cheek. They had stared at each other and then he kissed her with more passion than he thought possible. The next thing he knew they were in her bedroom, in her bed. She had been wild and sensual and he reveled in the memory that he had caused that. He had lost himself that night, he had let himself go of all the control he had been so famous for and just made love to her for hours. Again and again he had brought her to peak and he loved to watch her crash over the edge. She was unabashed with her lovemaking, it was tender at times, other times that night she wanted it rough, the rougher the better. That was the side of her that had surprised him somewhat; it was like, she had opened up every part of her soul just for him to see.

Hotch had made it halfway back to the hotel when he noticed something on the ground. There on the grass next to the sidewalk he was on was a cell phone. He picked it up and realized that it was Emily's phone. Then he looked closer around on the sidewalk and surrounding area and saw the drops of blood on the sidewalk. Damn, what the hell had happened? He knew then that the UNSUB they had been looking for had taken her. Had he been watching her or was it just a coincidence that he had taken an FBI agent that she had fit his type?

Hotch pulled out his phone and called Dave and told him what he had found. The team came running up the road to where he was at. He sent JJ to Emily's room to make sure she was actually gone, even though he knew the answer to that already. The others searched the immediate area for any sign of her and found nothing except the blood that Hotch had already discovered.

Each team member knew what they had to do without being told. They did their jobs but still their minds went back to that time last year when they thought they had lost her. This time it could very well happen.

Could they survive that pain again? Would they be able to get to her before it was too late? What kind of shape would she be in if they did?

The one thought going through Hotch's mind was a simple prayer. Please let her be ok. Over and over again he recited it to himself. He had seen what had happened to the other victims and the thought of her falling to that fate made him want to scream to the heavens that it should be him, hadn't she been through enough. Hadn't she been through more than any one person could take in a life time?

**Pikes Peak Mountain**

Emily felt the car come to a stop and her heart began to race faster. She could feel it pounding in her ears. She heard the sound of the car door closing and she prepared herself for what she would have to do. What she would have to do to save herself and the life she and Aaron had created. She heard the slide of the key as it went into the lock and her body stiffened at the sound. The only thing she was thankful for right now was that she had not been tied up. She heard the key turning slowly and she heard as the latch disconnected. The trunk lid began to rise and she was ready for him when it opened completely.

**A/N: Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think so far. And for those of you reading my story 'Letting Go' I will be updating it soon. I would have done it yesterday but this story came to me and I wanted to get it started before my muse flew out the window with it. Enjoy and thank you again for reading and reviewing.**


	3. The Fight

**Chapter 2**

**The Fight**

She heard the slide of the key as it went into the lock and her body stiffened at the sound. The only thing she was thankful for right now was that she had not been tied up. She heard the key turning slowly and she heard as the latch disconnected. The trunk lid began to rise and she was ready for him when it opened completely.

Emily's foot connected with man's face throwing him back onto the ground, holding his broken nose; and she scrambled to get out of the trunk. She made it out and started to run in the direction she thought would be heading back down the mountain. The man grabbed her ankle pulling her legs out from under her. She felt the pain as she fell onto the jagged rocks, feeling them slice through the skin of her bare arms. She felt around her for a rock big enough to do some damage. Her hand closed around a rock and she flipped herself over quickly and swung at the man's head, making contact. She swung again, this time harder and she felt him collapse on her legs. She held on to the rock and kicked her legs until she was free of his weight on her.

The only thought she had was that she needed to get away. She needed to get as far away as she could before he came to. So she ran the best she could on her wobbly legs. The adrenaline pumped through her body and she knew it was the only thing that would keep her going.

If she had been thinking clearly she would have checked the car for a jacket and her guns but she wasn't thinking as clearly as should have been so she just ran. At least he had left her boots on her feet; she would need them to cover the terrain they were in.

She didn't know how long she had been running or if he was coming after her. She just kept going; moving further away from the fate she knew probably had been destined since the beginning. How many times had she beaten that fate? How many times had she proven to herself that her life was not predestined? That she had a choice of the outcome? Would it be different this time? Would she make it out the other side? Could she last through the night? She knew the temperature was going to drop past freezing this high up in the mountain. She wouldn't be able to make a fire to stay warm, he would find her if she did. She would have to come up with some other way to keep herself from freezing to death. She couldn't bear the thought of her friends finally finding her in a heap on the ground. The thought that she wasn't strong enough to stay alive even after getting away from the UNSUB was not one she really wanted to think about.

She had no idea what kind of wildlife was up here. What was she up against besides a deranged lunatic? There were miles and miles of trees all around her, maybe she could use this to her advantage. She noticed most of them near her were Douglas fir trees and Aspen trees. The Douglas fir trees were huge, she would guess that they were hundreds of years old, Reid would know, she would have to remember to ask him later.

She was tired and weak and cold; she needed to find some sort of shelter before the temperature dropped anymore. She found a large tree and climbed as high as she could get until the branches were too small to be safe to climb on. The tree was full and it kept the wind from cutting through to her core. The branches were full of pine needles that poked her but she didn't care as long as she stayed alive she would endure anything she had too. She leaned her back against the trunk of the tree, resting her head against the rough bark.

Her senses were heightened, her ears picking up on sounds she would not have normally noticed. She may not have been able to see very much because of the darkness of the night but she could hear every little movement below her. She heard the rustling of the leaves and the twigs snapping, from what she wasn't sure. Was it the UNSUB or was it a wild animal searching for food? She listened, trying to keep her breathing regulated and quiet. The air was thinner up here then down in town, she was getting used to the difference in the altitude and hopefully as she made her way back down the mountain it would become easier to breathe; if she made it back down.

She heard the sound of the twigs snapping getting closer. She heard his rugged breathing, it was shallow and pained. Good, at least she had hurt him; not enough to stop him but maybe enough to slow him down enough for her to get ahead of him again. She pushed her body as close as she could to the tree trunk and sat as still as she could. She glanced down and saw him moving about thirty five feet below her.

"I know you're out here sweet thing. You can run but you can't hide forever baby. I'll get you if it's the last thing I do and when I do you will regret you ever raised your hand to me. I'll show you just what I do to bitches that don't know there place. I know you have seen my handy work and soon you will experience it firsthand." He yelled into the wind.

Emily sucked her breath in and held it. She watched as he walked further away into the dense forest of trees. She had no idea how she was going to get out of this with her and her baby's life intact, but she knew she had to try. She would not go down without fighting for their lives.

She decided to stay up in the tree until daybreak dawned and then she would make her way as quietly as she could and as far as she could down the mountain. She listened until she could no longer hear the UNSUB and then she listened for the sound of him returning. That sound never came and she closed her eyes, resting her head against the trunk again. She needed to reserve her strength for whatever lied ahead. She prayed the team would find her before it was too late.

**A/N: Okay folks let me know what you think so far. Your reviews are greatly appreciated. Enjoy!**


	4. The Hunt

**Chapter 3**

**The Hunt**

**July 18****th**** 2012 Pikes Peak Mountain**

She decided to stay up in the tree until daybreak dawned and then she would make her way as quietly as she could and as far as she could down the mountain. She listened until she could no longer hear the UNSUB and then she listened for the sound of him returning. That sound never came and she closed her eyes, resting her head against the trunk again. She needed to reserve her strength for whatever lied ahead. She prayed the team would find her before it was too late.

**July 19****th**** 2012 The Precinct**

"Any word from Hotch yet?" Morgan asked Rossi.

"No, nothing yet; the helicopter should be ready soon. We all are heading out as soon as he gets back in here from his conference call with Strauss." Dave said. His heart was racing in fear for Emily and he knew that Hotch was feeling worse. He knew something was going on between the two of them. What exactly he didn't know but it was obvious to anyone that knew the two of them well that something was up.

Hotch stood in the middle of the Police Chief's office knowing he had a job to do. He was scared of what they would find when they found Emily, if they found Emily. He was scared for her; for what she was going through. He had to find her. He had to find her and tell her the truth. The truth about everything.

Hotch snapped out of his darkened thoughts, they had work to do and it wasn't going to get done with him standing around.

The team took off in the helicopter and headed toward the location of the last dump site. They would work their way out from there, trying to find any sign of the UNSUB or Emily.

**Pikes Peak Mountain: Daybreak**

Emily eased her way slowly down the tree. Stopping every other branch to listen for the return of the UNSUB. There was a brisk breeze blowing the limbs through the air. She was cold; she didn't think she had ever been so cold before. Her body was so numb that she didn't feel the tree bark cutting into her hands as she continued to climb down. She had made it about ten feet from the ground when her foot slipped on the limb and she fell, her arm catching her on the limb below. She felt the sharp pain shoot through her shoulder from the way it had caught on the branch. She knew it had been dislocated as she bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain.

The pain was tremendous and it shot through her in a hot wave and the nausea hit her fast. Emily took a deep breath and fought back the tears as she regained her balance on the limb below her. She made it down to the ground and leaned against the tree, as she gained her bearings. Looking around and listening for any sign of the UNSUB. Once he had disappeared into the forest she had no idea which way he had gone. With no sign of him she eased herself off of the tree and held her injured arm to her stomach.

Emily pushed through the low hanging branches and bushes as quietly as she could; stopping every few feet to listen to her surroundings. She didn't know how long she had been walking or how far she had gotten, not even sure she was heading down the mountain. She just knew she needed to keep going if she hoped to stay alive long enough for her family to find her.

She could hear the running water of a stream somewhere near but could not tell which direction it was coming from. She moved in the direction she thought it was coming from. She needed something to drink before she started to dehydrate. Her only other option she would not even consider.

**Helicopter over Pike National Forest**

The team kept their eyes open for any sign of Emily or the UNSUB. All they could see were trees and in the clearings they could see a few of the National Guard searching the ground. Hotch told the pilot to head further up toward the mountain. They had been up in the air for thirty minutes and had covered a lot of ground when suddenly Hotch saw something shiny, reflecting the sun from below. He motioned to the pilot to take it down and prepared to get out quickly. They found a clearing to land not too far away from what Hotch had seen. Hotch was the first one out and he was off and running, terrified of what he would find. The rest of the team was not far behind him as they ran across the clearing and through the thick underbrush.

Hotch broke through to the other side of the trees first and saw the car. The driver's door and trunk were still open. He pulled his weapon and made his way to the car. Peering into the interior of the car first, he saw that it was empty but noticed that there was a map on the front seat. He ignored it for a minute and made his way to the back of the car. The trunk was empty as well but Hotch saw the dried pool of blood there. It wasn't very large, but it was enough to have him worried about Emily. The only relief he felt was in knowing that he didn't find her dead, lifeless body in the car.

The rest of the team reached him as he pulled out the map at and started looking at.

"Reid, look here. He has circled places on the map that coincide with where we found the other victims."

"Hotch there are three other circles on here that haven't been searched yet. I'll radio back to headquarters and inform them to send people to these areas to search for any other bodies." Reid said as he ran back towards the helicopter.

"Hotch, you need to see this." Rossi yelled from a few feet away from the trunk of the car.

Hotch ran to see what he was talking about and that's when he saw what looked like drag marks and more blood.

"Dave we'll find her won't we? We'll find her before it is too late?" Hotch asked in a hushed voice.

"Aaron, stop. Don't think like that. She's strong Aaron. Always has been. You know that. She won't give up. She'll fight with all she has in her and then she'll fight some more." Dave said, confident that he was telling the truth.

"I just… I just don't know what I would do if…" Hotch couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"We'll find her Aaron. We'll find her before it's too late and we'll find this guy too. Now we have his car and hopefully it's registered. I need to call Garcia and have her check it through the DMV." Dave said then turned and went back over to the car so he could give Garcia the tag and VIN numbers.

JJ walked over to where Hotch was still standing. She saw the look in his eyes and knew what he was thinking. It wasn't like Hotch to lose his head like this she had to make him snap out of it.

"Hotch you have to snap out of it. We all need to keep our heads right now. We all are thinking the same thing you are but we all have to keep our head in this because we won't do her any good if we lose it now. We need you Hotch, Emily needs you. Now get back in this or I swear I am going to slap you so hard that Jack will feel it." JJ said sternly.

Hotch looked at her for a minute. She was right and he knew it. He had to be strong and lead his team the way he always had.

"Thank you. I needed that I think." He said and kissed her top of her head. "Come on we have work to do."


	5. The Hunt Continues

**Chapter 4**

**The Hunt Continues**

**Pikes Peak Mountain**

"Hotch you have to snap out of it. We all need to keep our heads right now. We all are thinking the same thing you are but we all have to keep our head in this because we won't do her any good if we lose it now. We need you Hotch, Emily needs you. Now get back in this or I swear I am going to slap you so hard that Jack will feel it." JJ said sternly.

Hotch looked at her for a minute. She was right and he knew it. He had to be strong and lead his team the way he always had.

"Thank you. I needed that I think." He said and kissed her top of her head. "Come on we have work to do."

**Pikes Peak Mountain (Six miles away from the team)**

Emily stopped and listened again but could hear nothing besides birds and the rushing water. As she moved through the thickness of the trees she could hear that she was getting closer to the water. She prayed she found it soon, but the sound was echoing around her at times and she still couldn't tell exactly which direction it was coming from.

She kept moving, trudging through the thickness of the wilderness around her. Her feet were aching; she could feel the blisters on the heels of her feet, burning as her boots rubbed against them. Her muscles ached from the strain she had been putting them through. Her shoulder had finally become so numb from the pain that she no longer felt the need to throw up with every breath she took. She wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. Her head still hurt but with the way the rest of her body ached, the pain in her head felt dull and exiguous.

Emily inched along with a trepidation that was foreign to her. Never had she felt like this before, the fear she felt was unlike any she had experienced before. Even in the clutches of Ian Doyle she had not known a fear like this. Then she had resigned herself to the fact that she was going to die. She welcomed it, as long as her family was safe and alive, she accepted whatever Ian Doyle had in store for her. But now, now she had someone else besides herself to think about. It wasn't just her out here in the middle of nowhere.

She had her baby to think about, and there was nothing she would not do to protect this precious life growing in her womb. Her fear now was not for her life or her team's lives but for the life growing in her. The fear of something happening to him or her was tremendous and it overpowered anything else she might be feeling.

Emily broke through the low hanging branches and in front of her was the running water she had heard from deep within the vast amount of trees. She thanked god and moved toward the fast running water. If it wasn't for the circumstances Emily would have appreciated the sight before her. With the rapids rolling over the rocks and the sound of it all would have been quite calming. The rapids were wild; she had been white water rafting when she was younger and she knew that they were at least a stage four rapids and possibly some stage five further down the mountain.

Emily knelt down beside the fast moving water and cupped her hands dipping them beneath the water and then bringing them up to her mouth. She drank more than she should have but she had been without liquid for far too long and the water was so cold, it eased the pain in her dry cracked lips and the scratchiness in her throat. It refreshed her somewhat, giving her a burst of energy somehow. It gave her the will to go on, another reason to not give up; like she needed another reason. She drank until she thought she might be sick, leaning back on her haunches and sighed before standing and following the water down the side of the mountain. She kept her eyes open for any sign of the UNSUB as she went.

Emily had moved about a mile down river and saw a rock at the edge of the river and bent down to pick it up. Its edges were rounded smooth and she ran her fingers along the smoothness of it. It was the perfect size for her to hold but would be deadly enough if she needed it to be. She put it in her pocket as she stood back up, at least it would be some kind of weapon. God she wished she had her gun. She continued on, following the river's edge in hope that her team would think that she would look for water and search for her there. She knew them well; she knew that they knew she would think about herself and the fact that she needed water.

She just hoped that they would find out her proximate location in time. Maybe they would find the car, know that she was out here somewhere. She didn't know how far she had made it away from the car but she knew that if they found it that they would not give up until they found her; dead or alive, they wouldn't give up. That much she knew for sure.

Emily could hear the sounds of a waterfall up ahead and knew she would have to brave a climb down the side of the cliff most likely. She could do it, had to do it if she wanted to survive.

"Hello there little missy; I've been looking for you." The dark voice came from behind her.


	6. The Battle Is On

**Chapter 5**

**The Battle Is On**

**July 18****th**** 2012**

**Pikes Peak Mountain (Seven miles away from the team)**

Emily could hear the sounds of a waterfall up ahead and knew she would have to brave a climb down the side of the cliff most likely. She could do it, had to do it if she wanted to survive.

"Hello there little missy; I've been looking for you." The dark voice came from behind her.

Emily spun around quickly and came face to face with her worse fear. She could smell the man from five feet away. He was dirty; his clothes looked like they hadn't been washed in years. The overalls hung from his body loosely; his long beard was long and dirty, hanging wildly from his face. His long stringy, greasy hair stuck out from underneath his wide brim hat.

Emily stepped backwards away from the man as he advanced his limping body towards her. Well at least he looked like he was hurting worse than her. She continued to step backwards; maybe she could out run him.

**Pikes Peak Mountain (Seven miles away from Emily)**

Hotch and the team were back in the helicopter searching from the air, they had already called in the location of the car to locals and they were sending the National Guard to help with the search for Emily from the ground.

"Dave, look for water; Emily would go towards the water." Hotch said and then told the helicopter pilot to find the nearest body of water and start searching around it.

All Hotch could see were trees, there was nothing for miles except trees. They came up over the next rise in the mountain and his heart froze. There was Emily and the UNSUB beside a raging river of violent looking water. Hotch pointed down at them.

"There, she's over there. Take me down, take me down." he yelled at the pilot.

Just then the UNSUB lunged at Emily throwing them into the twisting river below. Hotch's breath caught in his throat as he watched them being washed away down the roaring river. He saw them break through the top of the water; the UNSUB's hands were around Emily's throat and she was struggling to free herself from his grasp. Then they disappeared under the water again. Hotch could see the waterfall about a hundred yards down river from them. Hotch watched for them to resurface and he finally saw them emerge about fifty yards from the waterfall.

"Oh god, she is going to go over the fall." Hotch yelled at his team. They watched as Emily and the UNSUB went over the top of the waterfall and the helicopter pilot swung out so they could see where they had gone. Emily had caught herself on the root of a tree sticking out through the rushing water; the UNSUB clung to her ankles. The UNSUB slipped and fell sixty feet to the rapids below. Emily hung on with her good arm for as long as she could before, she to slipped, falling into the torrential waters below her.

Hotch screamed "NO" as she fell and the pilot took them close to the water below them. The next thing the team knew Hotch jumped out into the raging river.

"Is he crazy?" Morgan yelled.

"No, he's in love with her." Rossi replied.

Hotch broke through the rapids trying to take as deep a breath as he could before he was pulled back under the white caps of the rapids. His body was thrown against the sharp rocks, lacerating his skin. He felt the water grow calmer as he was pushed further down the river and he once again broke through the top of the water. He searched the area for Emily or for any sight of the UNSUB. He caught sight of Emily clinging to a rock on the other side of the river.

He swam towards her as fast as he could against the rush of the water. He was exhausted when he reached her; her eyes were closed and her breathing was coming hard and fast.

"Emily!" He yelled over the noise of the rapids and helicopter. "Emily, open your eyes and look at me." Hotch said as he reached for her, pulling her to him and swam toward the bank of the river.

Hotch collapsed with her on the rocks, holding her tightly to him. She still hadn't opened her eyes; she was shivering from in the icy water, her lips were already turning blue. He pulled her limp body out of the water and sat down beside her. He checked her pulse and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt it was still strong. He knew her body was in shock and that he needed to get her to the hospital quickly. He looked up; giving a thumb's up to the team in the helicopter and turned his attention back to Emily.

He couldn't hear Morgan screaming at him to look behind him, all his attention was on the woman in front of him.

"Well who do we have here? Glad you could join my little party. She's a beauty ain't she?" came the voice of the man behind Hotch.

Hotch slowly stood up and turned around facing the UNSUB. The man held a gun in his hand and Hotch recognized it as Emily's right away. Hotch raised his arms in the air slowly and watched the man as he moved toward them. Before Hotch could say or do anything, Hotch heard the sound of a gunshot and the UNSUB was face down on the ground with a bullet hole in his back. Hotch looked up and saw Morgan holding the sniper rifle in his hands. Hotch waved at the man and then knelt back down beside Emily.

The helicopter landed in a clearing about a quarter of a mile away. Hotch carried her through the overgrown thickness of the underbrush toward the sound of the helicopter. It took him twenty five minutes to reach the clearing and another five minutes to reach the helicopter.

It took them another twenty minutes to reach the hospital. All that was left was the waiting game; the game that had been all too familiar to them. They sat there and remembered the last time they were in this position. The memories flooded back and it was like they were swept back to that night in March the year before. They prayed and waited just like they had done that night and then they prayed some more.

Two hours later Dr. Wells walked through the double doors and the look on his face was one that reflected JJ's the year before.


	7. The Waiting Is Over

**Chapter 6**

**The Waiting Is Over**

**July 18****th**** 2012**

**St. Francis Medical Center**

**Colorado Springs, Colorado**

It took them another twenty minutes to reach the hospital. All that was left was the waiting game; the game that had been all too familiar to them. They sat there and remembered the last time they were in this position. The memories flooded back and it was like they were swept back to that night in March the year before. They prayed and waited just like they had done that night and then they prayed some more.

Two hours later Dr. Wells walked through the double doors and the look on his face was one that reflected JJ's the year before.

"Aaron Hotchner?" Dr. Wells asked as he scanned the waiting room.

Hotch stood and walked toward the Dr.

"Yes. I'm Aaron Hotchner."

"Mr. Hotchner, you were listed on Ms. Prentiss' medical records as her emergency contact."

"Yes, I'm her boss. It's a requirement to have me on her list of contacts." Hotch confirmed.

"Well, being as you are the only one on her contact information you are the only one I can give information to. We were able to stabilize Ms. Prentiss and bring her core temperature back up to normal. It had dropped dangerously low. We were able to put her shoulder back in the socket without having to do surgery. The MRI we did on her showed that there was no damage to the blood vessels or tendons, there was a little tissue damage but nothing that won't heal on its own. We had to stitch up the cut on the back of her head. Her body was under a lot of stress and when her core temperature dropped as low as it did… well, I'm sorry we were not able to save her baby. We had to perform a D&C on her, she is in recovery now. You can see her as soon as we get her to her room."

"Baby… she was pregnant? How far along was she?" Hotch asked as a wave of nausea washed over him.

"She was approximately seven weeks gestation. I am truly sorry. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get back, I have another patient waiting." Dr. Wells said before turning and going back through the double doors.

Hotch's face was pale; he turned suddenly and ran to the garbage can in the corner, throwing up until there was nothing left in his stomach.

The team sat around in tears and in shock at Hotch's reaction to hearing Emily had lost the baby that none of them knew about.

"Oh my poor Em." JJ whispered as Morgan and Reid tried to comfort her.

They all knew how badly Emily had wanted a baby… had wanted a family of her own. They all had seen the envious looks she would give JJ when she talked about Henry. They had seen how attached she had become to Jack…and even Hotch, before Beth.

Dave walked over to where Hotch was still dry heaving into the garbage can.

"Here Aaron, drink this." Dave said and handed him a cup of ice water.

Hotch stood up and took the cup from Dave; Dave could see the tears in his.

"Was it yours?"

"Yes, the time fits so… yeah I think so." Hotch said, his voice cracking as he tried to hold back the tears.

"I'm sorry Aaron. I guess you didn't know?"

"No I didn't. Why wouldn't she tell me? Why would she keep something like that from me?"

"Aaron she wasn't that far along, maybe she didn't even know yet. Give her a chance to explain before you jump to conclusions. If she did know, then give her a chance to tell you why she didn't say anything."

"I'm not mad Dave, I just… it's complicated. It was one night and we decided that we couldn't start something, there are rules and…"

"Aaron, everything worth something is complicated. Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Then that should be all that matters. You deserve to find happiness again Aaron; and god knows Emily does. Look at what the two of you have been through over the years. If you wait for it to be the right time then you are going to let the best thing to ever happen to you, walk out of your life. You might not get a third chance."

Twenty minutes later a nurse walked Hotch to Emily's room where she left him outside the door. Hotch pushed the door opened slowly and saw her asleep on the bed. Hotch walked over to the bed and looked down at her sleeping form. He loved this woman, why was he scared to be happy again? He knew he had walked away from her, using the fraternization rules as an excuse. He was scared to let himself love again and that was all it came down to.

Hotch laid on the bed and curled his body around hers. He laid his hand gently on her stomach and cried for the loss of their baby. He cried for the pain he knew this would cause the woman in his arms. He cried for the time they wasted and he cried for Emily. He could have lost her today and then his world would have caved in around him.

Emily stirred beside him and he lifted his head to look at her face.

"Aaron? What…where…?" She started and then the memory of the past twenty four hours came flooding back.

"Oh god…the baby! Aaron, tell me the baby is ok. Tell me… please tell me the baby made it." she cried and then she saw the tears in his eyes.

"NO! Oh god no. Please tell me they made a mistake and that the baby is ok. I'm sorry god… I'm so sorry. Please…" She cried out.


	8. Heartache

**A/N: I know I upset a lot of people when I had Emily lose the baby and I apologize for that but it is a very important step in this story. So those of you who stick with this story a big heartfelt thank you is sent your way. **

**Sorry this took longer to get posted, I had intended to have it up yesterday but it was really hard for me to write. **

**Chapter 7**

**Heartache**

**July 18****th**** 2012**

**St. Francis Medical Center**

**Colorado Springs, Colorado**

Emily stirred beside him and he lifted his head to look at her face.

"Aaron? What…where…?" She started and then the memory of the past twenty four hours came flooding back.

"Oh god…the baby! Aaron, tell me the baby is ok. Tell me… please tell me the baby made it." she cried and then she saw the tears in his eyes.

"NO! Oh god no. Please tell me they made a mistake and that the baby is ok. I'm sorry god… I'm so sorry. Please…" She cried out.

Hotch's heart broke for her. He hugged her to him, trying to be of some comfort. Emily pushed him away and cried harder.

"No stop. How can you even stand to be in the same room with me? I killed our baby Aaron… and that is… unforgivable. I killed our baby." She screamed at him.

Hotch didn't know what to do for her. He knew she was hurting; he didn't blame her for what happened. He blamed himself. If he had just gotten to her quicker… if he had insisted on sending Morgan back to the hotel instead of allowing Emily to go, then none of this would have happened.

"Emily…"

"No Hotch, don't… I don't want your sympathy… I don't deserve it. Don't you understand…? I killed our baby! Get out… please just go and leave me alone." she cried and turned onto her side away from him and cried into her pillow.

Hotch wanted to stay with her, but he knew she was too upset to listen to him. He pushed the call button for the nurse; she came in and saw how distraught Emily had become. She gave her a sedative and Hotch watched as she calmed somewhat; her cries came in ragged heaves as her body gave in and drifted off into a restless slumber.

Hotch walked out into the hall and stood with his back against the wall. His head hit with a loud thump as it fell back. His heart was aching with a pain he had never felt before. Yes he had felt the pain and guilt when Haley died but this was different. A hurt so deep that he thought his heart had been ripped from his chest. The tears slid down his face and all he wanted to do was go back in Emily's room and comfort her. It would bring him comfort as well, but she didn't want him there.

Who was he kidding; she didn't need him at all. She didn't want him anywhere near her. Hell she didn't want him at all and who could blame her, he had pushed her away and now there was nothing he could do to ease her pain. He had fucked up the moment he had left her apartment all those weeks ago.

Dave walked up and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly.

"You okay?" Dave asked the distraught man.

"No Dave, I'm not. She doesn't want me in there. She got so upset they had to sedate her. She wants me to hate her, she think she caused this and it is no one's fault but mine. If I hadn't let her go back to the hotel by herself this wouldn't have happened. It's my fault she lost our baby and now she won't even let me talk to her." Hotch said as he slid down the wall, crouching on the floor.

"Aaron stop it, it's no one's fault but the sadistic bastard that took her. You can't blame yourself and you can't let her blame herself either. You go back in there and be there for her when she wakes up. She needs you no matter what she says. You need each other. If you love her like you say you do then fight for her Aaron. She needs to see that no matter what has happened that you will always be there for her."

"How do I do that if she won't even look at me Dave? She hates me! She wants nothing to do with me and that is entirely my fault. I should have never walked out that morning without telling her how I really feel. Instead I used our jobs as an excuse to run away from her and I hurt her in the process."

"You start by getting your head out of your ass and face the fact that you both have lost something precious. I know how you feel right now and you need to face it together. There is nothing like the pain you feel when you lose a child. She wanted a child Aaron, has wanted one for a long time. You know that. She will never forgive herself if you don't help her realize this was not her fault. This wasn't your fault either. Now just be there for her and when she is ready she will let you in. Just be there for her Aaron, that's all you can do right now." Dave said before turning and going back to the waiting room and the rest of the team.

Hotch stood up and let himself back into Emily's room. He took a seat in the chair beside her bed and watched her as she slept. He would be here when she woke. He would make her understand.


	9. More Heartache

**Chapter 8**

**More Heartache **

**July 18****th**** 2012**

**St. Francis Medical Center**

**Colorado Springs, Colorado**

Hotch stood up and let himself back into Emily's room. He took a seat in the chair beside her bed and watched her as she slept. He would be here when she woke. He would make her understand.

Hotch crawled back on to the bed beside Emily and held her close until he finally let the darkness of the dream world envelope him. The vision of her being washed away over the side of the waterfall played behind his eyelids. This time he had not gotten to her in time, she had been washed away with the UNSUB. He only found her after the UNSUB had drained the life out of her. He reached her and when he turned her body over he saw her holding their dead baby in her arms.

Hotch woke with a start. He knew it wasn't real but the feelings he was feeling, was all too real. His stomach lurched and he had to jump up and run to the bathroom connected to her room. He was throwing up when he felt a hand on his back. He finished and when he looked up he was shocked to see Emily there. She was standing there in her hospital gown, her IV stand beside her. He rinsed his mouth out and then he turned back to her with concern in his eyes.

"Emily, what are you doing out of bed? Please let me help you get back in bed." He said as he guided her back to the bed.

Emily crawled back into bed and Hotch covered her with the blanket. Sitting on the side of the bed he looked at her. Taking in her swollen, red eyes and tear stained cheeks. He stood up and went back to the bathroom and came back with a warm washcloth. He wiped her face gently; in a way it was like he was trying to wash away the pain but he could not wash away the pain in her eyes as she stared back at him. He laid the washcloth down on the stand beside the bed and then laid back down beside her.

She didn't push him away this time; instead she curled her body into his as he wrapped his arms around her. They laid like that, in silence for a while until he heard her whisper.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't. It's not your fault." he said against her hair.

"Yes it is… if I had just…" she began

He cut her off by lifting her chin to look into her eyes.

"No sweetheart, it isn't. You didn't do anything wrong to cause this. It was the UNSUB's fault and no one else."

Emily saw the tears in his eyes and knew that he was just as heartbroken as she was.

"Aaron… I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't find out until the morning we left to come here and I thought it would be better to just wait until we got back home. I should have told you before we ever left but I didn't want to distract you."

"Don't be sorry about that. Now that you've explained why you didn't say anything it makes me feel a little better. I didn't understand at first why you didn't say anything or if you had even known about the… baby. I'm so sorry Emily." he said as he hugged her to him.

"Aaron, I don't want to talk about it right now. It hurts too much. I can't… my heart…" she said as she began to cry again.

"Shhh… I know Em, I'm hurting too. We can talk later. It will be okay… Shhh." he said as he rubbed his hand up and down her back as she cried.

They laid there and cried together; sharing in their grief as one.

Dave had come back to check on them, poking his head in the door. He saw them there, crying and it broke his heart to see the strongest people he knew, look so broken. He wanted to go to them; to try and be there for them both but he knew they needed this time alone together. The pain they were feeling was a pain he knew all too well. The pain he knew would never really go away but he also knew that over time it would get better for them. He had worked through his pain a long time ago, had accepted it. Now all he could do was be there for them.

Dave left them alone and told the nurse that he and the rest of the team were going to go back to their hotel for the night and that they would be back first thing in the morning. He would call Strauss when he got back to his room and inform her of what was going on. If it was the last thing he did he would get her to overlook the fraternization rules for them, it was the least he could do for them.


	10. Reconciling the Heartache and Truths Be

**Chapter 9**

Reconciling the Heartache and Truths Be Told

**July 18****th**** 2012**

**St. Francis Medical Center**

**Colorado Springs, Colorado**

Dave left them alone and told the nurse that he and the rest of the team were going to go back to their hotel for the night and that they would be back first thing in the morning. He would call Strauss when he got back to his room and inform her of what was going on. If it was the last thing he did he would get her to overlook the fraternization rules for them, it was the least he could do for them.

**July 20****th**** 2012**

**Quantico, Virginia **

**Emily Prentiss' Apartment**

Emily had been released from the hospital the day before and the team had flown home that afternoon. Hotch had drove Emily home and got her settled on the couch where she had insisted on laying down at. He fixed her a hot cup of tea and tried to get her to let him fix her something to eat but she said she wasn't hungry. She said she would eat something later on. Hotch had wanted to stay with her but Emily had insisted that go spend time with Jack, said that he needed it just as much as she needed to be alone right now.

Emily slept very little that night, the little sleep she did get was plagued with nightmares about their baby. She would wake up screaming and crying, her hair soaked with sweat. She finally gave up trying to sleep and had turned to channel surfing as some sort of comfort, but it didn't help. She went upstairs and ran a hot bath, pouring in her lavender bath oil in hopes that it would help her a little. Lavender is a great stress reliever, because of its stress relieving ability it can be used to treat anxiety, insomnia and stomach aches as well.

Emily lowered her aching body into the tub, letting the water lap around her, enveloping her. She soaked in the tub until the water became too cold for her to remain in the tub. She dried and dressed in a clean pair of pajamas. Curling herself up in the middle of her bed, she cried.

She never heard the knocks on her door. Hotch let himself in with the spare copy of her key. After everything that had happened with Foyet, Hotch had required the team to have spare keys to every ones apartments or houses. He closed and locked the door behind him, he half expected to find her asleep on the couch but instead he found it empty.

"Emily?" he called out to her but got no reply.

He took the stairs two at a time and as he got closer to her bedroom he could hear her sobs and his heart broke for her. He eased himself into her bedroom, kicking off his shoes as he made his way to the bed.

"Emily?" He said but got she didn't reply.

He lowered himself onto the bed behind her, wrapping his arms around her he pulled her to him and held her tight. She must have heard him because she didn't jump at the contact. She turned in his arms and hugged him back. She didn't say anything, just cried into his chest. Hotch held her as she cried and he couldn't hold his own tears back. He cried silently with her.

"It hurts Aaron… why did this happen? Is this a punishment for a decision I made when I was fifteen? Is God trying to tell me that I am not supposed to be a mother?" She cried against him.

"Oh Em, no sweetie, this is not a punishment. You are going to be a great mother sweetheart."

"How can you say that Aaron, how do you know?"

"I know because I have seen you with children Emily. You are loving and compassionate. You would do anything for a child Emily. I've seen you with Jack and not once have I ever seen a side of you that says you will not be a great mother."

"Aaron… I don't know if I can live through this. I don't know if I want too."

"Emily, don't say that… don't ever say that. You will get through this; we will get through this… together. I will be here every step of the way. You're not alone. You'll never be alone, Emily. I'll do whatever I can for you… please believe that." Hotch said as he continued to rub his hands up and down her back.

"I really wanted this baby Aaron. Not just because I want to have a baby but because it was your baby. I thought if I couldn't have you, then at least I would always have a part of you with me."

"Oh Em, honey you have me. You have had me for a long time. Since Haley, it's always been you. I just thought we couldn't be together because of the job. I never should have used that as an excuse. I don't care about the repercussions anymore, all I want is you and if you want to try again later to have another baby then we will. If you decide that you don't want a relationship with me then I am still willing to give you the chance to have a baby."

Emily pulled back and looked at him in shock. What was he saying? He wanted to be with her, wanted to have a baby with her?

"Why would you do that for me?" She whispered.

"Because I finally realize that I don't want to live a life without you in it. I love you Emily."

Emily gasped softly at his revelation. She searched his for a sign that he wasn't telling her the truth, she found nothing.

"But… why the sudden change? Two months ago you said that we couldn't do this. Why now? If it's because of what happened then don't bother to say it because I don't want or need your pity Aaron."

"It has nothing to do with me pitying you Emily, because I don't, it has everything to do with what has been building between us for years. You can't deny that there is something here. It's been here for a long time. I told you before; if it was just about sex it never would have happened. I love you and it took me almost losing you to be able to tell you. I don't want to lose you Emily. I need you… and I think you might need me too."

Emily nodded her head at him, not trusting her voice.

"We'll get through this Emily, together, one day at time. Okay?"

"Yes. I don't want to lose you either. I think I have always needed you Aaron. I am sorry about the baby. I wanted it more than anything. I was so excited when I found out that I wanted to call you from the doctor's office but I knew we were flying out and I wanted... I didn't want…" her tears came again and she stopped talking and clung to him.

He was her lifeline; the only safety she felt was in his arms.

"Shhh… It's okay. I'm here, always here." he held her closely, soothing her pain the only way he knew how.


	11. Keep Moving Forward

**Chapter 10**

**Keep Moving Forward**

**July 20****th**** 2012**

**Quantico, Virginia **

**Emily Prentiss' Apartment**

He was her lifeline; the only safety she felt was in his arms.

"Shhh… It's okay. I'm here, always here." he held her closely, soothing her pain the only way he knew how.

**August 1****st**** 2012**

**Quantico, Virginia**

**The BAU**

Emily had taken two weeks off from work and this was her first day back at work. In her time away from work she had seen each member of the team on separate occasions. They each had stopped by to see how she was doing. No one judged her or made any presumptions about her relationship with Hotch. Whatever that was, she wasn't sure yet.

The girls had come back together later during her second week out and had brought take out and movies to distract Emily with. By the end of the night Emily had told them about everything she was feeling. From the loss of the baby, down to everything going on between her and Hotch. These were her closest friends, her family and she allowed herself to be vulnerable with them. She always let them in; she never tried to hide who she was with them. They understood her, had accepted her, even from the beginning they had been close.

They had talked to her about how she was feeling about losing the baby; it had helped to talk to someone other than Hotch about it. After all they were woman too; JJ had a child and knew how Emily had longed to be a mother. And well Penelope was just as well in tuned to the need to one day have a child of her own. They let her cry, hell they had cried with her. It had been therapeutic for Emily. More than anything it had been a turning point for her in accepting that sometimes you just had to accept and move forward no matter how much it hurt, it would eventually get easier and that in time the hurt would lessen and the heart would heal.

Hotch had been by every day after work to check on her as well. He was giving her space without pressuring her into a relationship, but at the same time he was there for her helping in any way he could with the healing process. And in return she was helping him heal as well. They were healing, together. She hadn't realized that he had been just as affected by the loss as she had been until he had told her about his nightmares about her and the baby. She had cried with him that night and tried to comfort him the way he had her. They had gone through a lot in those two weeks, but none of it had been more important than the step they had made that night.

She now sat at her desk lost in thought when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning to see who it was she was surprised to see Erin Strauss standing there.

"I need to see you Agent Prentiss; can you meet me in my office in twenty minutes?" The older woman asked her softly.

"Um… Yes ma'am." She replied quietly.

God she couldn't handle this today. What the hell did that woman want any way?

Emily glanced up Hotch's office and found it empty. She had seen him earlier when she had come in. They had talked for a few minutes before they had gotten busy on case files. She got up and made her way to the elevator and took it up one floor to where the Section Chief's office was located. She walked down the long hallway, dreading whatever was to come. She reached the office and entered the outer office. Strauss assistant sat at her desk and gave Emily a small smile.

"She'll be right with you Agent Prentiss." the other woman said.

"Thank you Sarah." Emily said as she took a seat across from her desk in the small waiting area. Emily felt like she was in school waiting to see the principal.

"She will see you now." Sarah said to her.

Emily stood and made her way in to Strauss office.

"Take a seat Agent Prentiss." Strauss said directing her to the chair in front of her desk.

Emily didn't notice Hotch standing by the bookcase that was on the left side of the door out of view.

"Can I ask what this about ma'am?"

"Let me say this first. I am so sorry for your loss Emily."

"Thank you, ma'am." Emily said as she lowered her gaze to her lap.

"It was brought to my attention while you were in the hospital that the baby was Agent Hotchner's. Is this true?" Strauss asked as she took her seat across from Emily.

"Yes ma'am, it was. But it's not what you think. It was one time and it has not happened since then. Please don't hold this against Hotch it was just something that happened. If anyone needs to take the fall for this let it be me. I'll transfer if I have to, just don't put this on him ma'am. I don't want this to hurt his career; I would rather leave than cause him any more pain ma'am."

"Like hell you will." boomed the voice behind her,

Emily swung around to see Hotch standing by the bookcase she didn't notice being there when she came in.

"Hotch what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to Chief Strauss about everything. I will not let you sacrifice yourself Emily."

"Aaron, take a seat please. I did not call you both in here to reprimand you. I called you in here to inform you that I as well as the Director have approved of your relationship as long as it does not interfere with your jobs. I will be taking care of Agent Prentiss' evaluations from now on. All you have to do is do your jobs the way you always have and there won't be any problems. If for some reason it comes to light that you cannot keep your personal lives separate from work then Agent Prentiss will be transferred to another unit. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am" Hotch and Emily answered in unison.

"Now Agent Hotchner if you can excuse us I need to talk to Emily in private."

"Um ma'am is that necessary?" he asked before looking over at Emily.

"Yes it is. Please it won't take long." Strauss stressed to him.

"Yes ma'am."

Hotch left closing the door behind him on his way out.

"This is by no means on the record Emily. I just wanted to know how you were doing. Have the nightmares eased up any?"

"How did you know…?"

"Because I have been in your shoes Emily; I know the pain you are going through. When I was twenty-one I lost my baby too. I was four months along when I lost it. I don't know if it was a boy or a girl, but it doesn't matter, in my dreams I always dreamed it was a boy. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone Emily. If you ever need to talk to someone who has been where you are, I am here and I am willing to help you through this if you let me."

"I don't know what to say ma'am. I mean I never expected you… We have never been friendly if I may say so; why the change now?"

"Because Emily, I know how it feels to struggle with this. I know what it feels like to wake up in the middle of the night soaked in your own sweat and tears, screaming for the one thing you know you'll never get back. I've been there and I don't want you to feel like this was your fault. It wasn't. From the moment Stanly Parker took you, you had no control over what happened."

"I've accepted that ma'am. I appreciate the offer, I do. Aaron has been a big help and the rest of the team as well."

"Well I am glad that you have them to turn to. But if you ever need someone outside of that circle, I am here."

"Thank you ma'am. Can I ask you one question? Does the pain go away? I mean, does it ever feel like you can breathe again?"

"The pain never truly goes away, no. But it does get better. There will come a time when you think about the baby and not burst into tears. You'll eventually get to the point that you can go more than a day without thinking about her or him. You'll remember them on the holidays fondly. I celebrate mine on his due date. I'm not saying that you have to do that but that is what helped me cope. You can find other ways to help you. Talking about it will help. You have some great friends Emily, let them to help you. If you shut people out it will only cause you more pain. Talk about it when you need to and it will help you heal. No matter how you feel about me Emily, I promise you this; if you ever need me I will be here for you.'

"Thank you. I promise to keep that in mind ma'am." Emily said as she stood up to leave.

Strauss came around the desk to walk her out but before she did she shocked Emily by hugging her. Emily returned the hug before pulling back giving the older woman a smile.

"Thank you Chief Strauss."

"Emily, please call me Erin when we are like this. This is a friend trying to help another friend. Or at least I hope we can become friends."

"I would like that… Erin." calling her by her first name sounded foreign to Emily.

"Just remember Emily, take it one day at a time and keep moving forward. Don't let the grief overtake your life because if you do it will eat at your soul and you will miss out on so many good things in your future. I know right now you're not thinking of your future, but you will have one and it will be filled with more children. You will get a chance to be a mother Emily, and you will be a great one."

"Thank you Erin. I needed this I think. It is one thing to talk to the team but to actually be able to talk to someone who has been there has helped. I think I would like to you talk to you again, if that would be ok."

"I would like that Emily. Anytime."


	12. Love Always Prevails

**Chapter 11**

**Love Always Prevails**

**August 1****st**** 2012**

**Quantico, Virginia**

**The BAU**

"Just remember Emily, take it one day at a time and keep moving forward. Don't let the grief overtake your life because if you do it will eat at your soul and you will miss out on so many good things in your future. I know right now you're not thinking of your future, but you will have one and it will be filled with more children. You will get a chance to be a mother Emily, and you will be a great one."

"Thank you Erin. I needed this I think. It is one thing to talk to the team but to actually be able to talk to someone who has been there has helped. I think I would like to you talk to you again, if that would be ok."

"I would like that Emily. Anytime."

Emily left Strauss' office and made her way back to the bullpen. She passed her friends as they watched her from their desk; concern for her was clearly visible on their faces. She made her way up the stairs to the catwalk to Hotch's office. Knocking on his door, she let herself in without waiting for his reply. She closed the door behind her and then just stood there.

"Emily?" Hotch said as he stood and made his way over to her, "Are you okay?" he asked as he reached out a hand to cup her face gently.

Emily looked up and looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time she actually registered what she was seeing in his eyes. It had been there that night before he left her apartment, and now she knew what it was. It was love, he had told her he loved her, but this was the first time it actually registered. She reached up and covered his hand with hers and smiled up at him.

"I'm fine Aaron, really." she answered. "It's hard but I'm coping as well as could be expected I think. Strauss was actually being nice. I was surprised at first but she opened up to me and… I think it helped."

"She wasn't out of line was she?" he asked as his thumb caressed her cheekbone.

"No nothing like that. She just talked to me and let me know that I could talk to her about everything if I needed to. She has been where I am at… it helped to talk to someone that has experienced that same kind of loss. Not that talking to you and the team doesn't help, it's just… it enlightened me a little on what to expect and how to deal with things. I still can't believe that she is human… she wants us to be friends actually."

"You're kidding right?" Hotch asked in shock.

"No, she really wants to be friends and she wants to be there for me if I need help dealing with things. She actually hugged me before I left and insisted that I call her Erin when we aren't in 'professional mode'." Emily said as she laced her fingers with his on her face before she turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand. "Thank you, Aaron." she whispered to him.

"What for?"

"Just for being you and being here for me." she said as she looked into his eyes. "You know I love you, don't you?" she asked quietly.

"Yes I know, but it's nice to finally hear you say it. I love you too." was his whispered reply.

"I want you to be happy Aaron but I really don't know if I can be that person. I don't know if I can make you happy." she could see the hurt in his, like he was expecting her to just walk away from him and all that he had to offer her. "But I really want to try." she finished with a hopeful look in her eyes.

"Oh God Emily you scared me for a second. I really want that too sweetheart. All I want to do is make you happy Emily."

"Can I ask you something Aaron?"

"Anything." he replied.

"Did you really mean it when you said you wanted to give me a child?"

"With everything that I am." he said seriously.

"Well I was thinking on my walk back from Strauss' office. I would like to try again when the time is right, but only if you are sure." she said hesitantly.

"As sure as I am standing here breathing, I want that too." he said as he bent down and kissed her gently on her lips for the first time since their night together.

Hotch pulled back slightly, a smile on his lips which only widened when he saw the smile spread across hers.

"I hope you don't mind but I talked to Jessica about everything."

"You did?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, she came by to drop off Jack after I got home on Friday and she notice that something was off with me and it just came out. I should have told you when I saw on Monday, I'm sorry."

"No Aaron, don't be. I understand needing someone other than me to talk to. I'm glad she knows, I won't feel the need to watch what I say around her if I see her."

"Thank you." he said as his hands ghosted over her back.

"I love you Aaron."

"I love you Emily." he said as he hugged her closer. "Come over tonight, Jessica is cooking us dinner and if you want you can join us."

"I would like that Aaron. How is Jack doing? I haven't seen him since the wedding; I bet he is growing so fast."

"He's fine and he hasn't changed since you last saw him. He would love to see you." he smiled into her hair.

"I've missed him." she said against his neck.

"He's missed you too. Do you want to ride with me or drive yourself?" he asked.

"I'll ride with you if that is okay. I can take a taxi home and to work in the morning."

"You will do no such thing. I can take you home and pick you up in the morning. Or you can stay the night… I can sleep on the couch. I'm assuming you have a change of clothes in your ready bag."

"I do but I don't know about staying the night. If I do I will be the one on the couch because I will not kick you out of your bed Aaron."

"Well we'll cross that road when we get there. I will see you after work Agent Prentiss." he said with a smirk.

"Of course Sir." she said and leaned up to kiss him lightly on the corner of his mouth.


	13. Loves Promise Renewed Part 1

**Chapter 12**

**Loves Promise Renewed**

**Part 1**

**August 1****st**** 2012**

**Quantico, Virginia**

**The BAU**

"He's missed you too. Do you want to ride with me or drive yourself?" he asked.

"I'll ride with you if that is okay. I can take a taxi home and to work in the morning."

"You will do no such thing. I can take you home and pick you up in the morning. Or you can stay the night… I can sleep on the couch. I'm assuming you have a change of clothes in your ready bag."

"I do but I don't know about staying the night. If I do I will be the one on the couch because I will not kick you out of your bed Aaron."

"Well we'll cross that road when we get there. I will see you after work Agent Prentiss." he said with a smirk.

"Of course Sir." she said and leaned up to kiss him lightly on the corner of his mouth.

Emily sat at her desk working on backed up case files when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Dave standing there looking down at her.

"Hey Kiddo, how is your first day back going?" he asked as he squatted next to her.

"It's fine Dave, really. Everyone has been really great. Strauss called me to her office when I got here and it went better than I thought it would. Somehow she knew about Hotch being the father. She agreed to let us continue our relationship if that is what we wanted and that we could stay on the team together as long as we can keep it out of work. She said she will handle my evaluations from now on. Do you know anything about that Dave?" she asked him with a slight smile on her face.

"Well I may or may not have talked to her. I just want you to be happy sweetie, the both of you deserve it and I did what I thought I could do to help." he said.

"Thank you Dave. You all have been so great through all of this."

"It's what we do; we're family and I for one a have a real soft spot for a certain dark haired agent. But don't tell Aaron, he might get jealous that he's not that certain dark haired agent."

"Don't worry Dave, your secret is safe with me." she whispered to him as she hugged him.

Dave went back to his office while Emily got back to the stack of files on her desk. She worked through lunch without even realizing that she had done so until Morgan and Reid came back into the bullpen.

"Hey girl, we missed you at lunch. You okay?" Morgan asked.

Emily looked at the clock on the wall and noticed the time.

"I didn't even realize what time it was. I'm fine Derek. I just got busy trying to get caught up on these files." she replied.

"Emily, it is not good for you to miss meals. Your body needs the vitamins and…" Reid started to only end up being elbowed in the ribs by Morgan.

"Shot up Kid. She doesn't need to hear all that shit running through your head right now." Morgan hissed at him.

"It's fine Reid. I promise I will eat something soon. I just lost track of time that's all." she said trying to reassure Reid.

"Sorry Emily… I just worry about you." he said quietly.

Emily stood up and hugged her young friend. "I'm okay Reid, I promise. Thank you."

"For what?" Reid questioned.

"For being you, for caring about me; to start with. You are truly an amazing friend and I wouldn't trade you for anything."

"Well I don't know how to be anyone else Emily. I'm just me." Reid said with a slightly confused look on his face.

Emily laughed and hugged him tighter before letting him go. He gave her a shy smile before turning and going to his desk. Morgan of course, being the overprotective brother type of their little family, stayed there by her side.

"Are you sure you're okay Princess?" concern laced his voice.

"I'm sure Morgan. I am doing better, it's hard but I'm coping. Give me time, I'll be okay I promise. Being here with you all helps; you all are my rocks. If Hotch and I didn't have you guys I don't know if we would make it through this."

"Yes you would. You both are strong people and you have each other. All I want to know now is how all that came about?" she could hear the teasing in his voice.

"Well it just sort of happened. At JJ's wedding Beth noticed how we were acting with each other. Unintentional of course, but there has always been this chemistry between us I guess. We just denied it for so long. You know I had been thinking about leaving, well I talked to Hotch the next morning about it. We decided, or I agreed to stay for three months and then decide; which I didn't need by the way. I knew I couldn't leave you all again. I had fought so hard to get back my life and I decided that I couldn't give that up again. Beth broke up with Hotch when he and I began talking about me staying or leaving, she had said she knew he had feelings for me. She said that she saw it at the wedding when we danced. She told him that she could never compete with me and then she just walked away from him." she paused and Morgan took the opportunity to cut in.

"Well I don't understand how Hotch could sleep with you. How did that happen?"

"God Morgan you sure know how to make a girl feel special. I know I am not your type but some men do actually find me attractive." Emily said and rolled her eyes at him.

"That's not what I meant Emily, I find you very attractive and beautiful. I meant Hotch is all about the rules. But now that I think about it he has broken quite a few rules for you; some that he would never have considered breaking for anybody else."

"What are you talking about Morgan? Hotch hasn't broken any rule for me, well other than the fact that we slept together one night."

"Emily he could have lost his job back when your friend was murdered by that priest. He went above Strauss' and the Director's heads straight to the Vatican. And when Doyle happened, I found out he done it again then too. How did you think everything got done so fast to get you put into hiding?"

"I just always assumed it had been from JJ pushing it through. I never even realized Hotch was involved with it. I knew he knew I was still alive but I never would have dreamed that he would put his job on the line for me."

"Well yes he had her help but he was the one that pushed them, Emily he even threatened Clyde Easter when you disappeared. He told him if anything happened to you that he would destroy him."

"Wow. I never knew any of this." she said with a stunned look on her face.

"My guess is that he has loved you for a long time Emily, he just never allowed himself to give in to those feelings. You should have seen him when you and Reid were being held hostage by Cyrus. When you were taking that beating, he almost lost it Emily. I mean he had tears in his eyes, if it hadn't been for Rossi he would have run in there after you then."

Emily looked up Hotch's office and smiled. She never knew any of this, no one had told her before. If they had she might have said something about how she felt earlier.

"So how did you two end up sleeping together anyway?" Morgan said drawing her attention back to him.

"It's a long story Derek."

"Well I am not going anywhere so spill it. Fill me in on how it happened, was he drunk?"

"Again Derek, you know how to make a girl feel special. I did not have to get him drunk to get him to sleep with me."

"Come on Princess, quit stalling and spill."

"Spill what?" Garcia said as she walked over to them with JJ.

"Princess here, was fixing to tell me how her and Hotch hooked up."

"OH yes, please do tell. JJ and I have been waiting to hear this." Garcia said excitedly.

"Oh my god, don't you people have lives?" Emily cried out as she thumped her head on her desk.

"Oh Emily, we have lives but you're the one sleeping with the boss and we are interested in finding out how that came about." JJ said with a smile.

"Okay fine. It was about two weeks after JJ and Will's wedding. Beth had already broken up with him by then. He came over to my apartment, I cooked him dinner. We talked and watched a movie and he was fixing to leave and… I kissed him. One thing led to another and the rest is history."

"Oh come on that's all you are going to say. How about telling us it was the best, earth shattering, wild night of your life. At least give us some detail." JJ said wanting to hear more of her best friends night with the boss.

"JJ! Keep it down; I really don't want to go to SHS next time."

"Well you won't be alone; you know Morgan and Pen are always getting sent to the Sexual Harassment Seminar." JJ laughed.

"Very funny cupcake; I haven't had to go in three months, thank you very much." Garcia said, sticking her tongue out at the blonde beside her.

"Well then you are about due for a refresher course." JJ said.

"Okay guys, yes it was the most exciting night of my life. It was a one-time thing and then we decided we couldn't do it again."

"You guys have only had sex once? Wow. I just assumed you had done it more than once." Pen said shocked.

"Well it was one night; I didn't say we only did it once." Emily smiled at the memory of that night.

"So how many times was it?" Morgan asked her.

"It was more like… four, unless you count the shower, then it was five. Okay it was five times." Emily said as the smile on her face spread wider.

"Damn, Hotch has stamina. I'm impressed." Morgan said before he heard the voice come from behind him.

"It would have been more but Emily got tired." Hotch said and Emily blushed.

"Emily you need to go get you something to eat but don't eat too much because you need to have room for dinner tonight, Jessica always cooks too much food and her desserts are to die for." Hotch said before turning and going back to his office.

"You are going to Hotch's tonight?" JJ asked her quietly.

"Yes and I am. Now get back to work, I am going to the cafeteria to grab a sandwich." Emily said grabbing her purse and heading toward the elevators, JJ and Garcia hot on her heels.


	14. For The Love Of A Child

**A/N: So sorry this has taken longer to get posted than usual. Sometimes I hate that people only need me for something when I am on a roll with my writing and then I have to stop and take care of it and then I lose my groove. Oh well, hopefully this turned out okay. **

**Chapter 13**

**For The Love Of A Child**

**August 1****st**** 2012**

**Quantico, Virginia**

**The BAU**

"Emily you need to go get you something to eat but don't eat too much because you need to have room for dinner tonight, Jessica always cooks too much food and her desserts are to die for." Hotch said before turning and going back to his office.

"You are going to Hotch's tonight?" JJ asked her quietly.

"Yes and I am. Now get back to work, I am going to the cafeteria to grab a sandwich." Emily said grabbing her purse and heading toward the elevators, JJ and Garcia hot on her heels.

Emily avoided the probing questions from her friends and turned it around on Garcia when she asked her how thing were going with Kevin. Of course that distracted Garcia enough to keep the talk at lunch off Emily.

Emily was still working on the backlog of case files on her desk when Hotch's voice pulled her from the depths of the depravity in front of her.

"Are you ready to go Emily?"

"God, even you beat me done? What time is it?" Emily said as she looked up from the mass of files still in front of her.

"It's going on six. I wanted to get out of here earlier tonight since Jessica is cooking."

"Okay let me just pack these up so I can finish them tomorrow. Does Jessica know I am coming home with for dinner?" Emily asked and looked up at him.

"Yes. I called her earlier to let her know we were having a guest over for dinner. She seemed quite pleased when I told her it was you." he smirked at her.

"Oh really; why would she be pleased Aaron?"

"Because she knows how I feel about you. She actually said it was about time."

Emily laughed, "I find it hard to believe that she is okay with this."

"Well she is Emily. She just wants me to be happy and to find someone that can handle me and this job as well as take care of Jack."

"I hope she still feels that way after she gets to know me better." she mumbled.

"She is going to love you, I promise." Hotch said as he took her ready bag and slung it over his shoulder.

**August 1****st**** 2012**

**Aaron Hotchner's Apartment**

Hotch pulled into the parking garage of his apartment building fifteen minutes later and walked around to open the passenger door for Emily. Going around he opened the trunk and took her ready bag out and then took her hand in his and walked to the elevator on the other side of the garage.

Hotch unlocked the front door and let them inside the apartment and they could hear the voices coming from the direction of the kitchen. Hotch sat her bag down by the table in the foyer as they made their way through to the kitchen. Jack giggled at something Jessica had said then looked up and saw Hotch and Emily standing in the doorway.

"Daddy!" Jack yelled and ran and threw himself at Hotch's legs.

Emily smiled at the scene and felt that now familiar pain hit her heart. She would never know what their child would have been like now. Would he or she have looked like Hotch or would they have looked like her? Would the baby have shared his dimples or have her eyes and smile? Emily turned away from them as the tears started to burn her eyes. Jessica noticed right away and turned to Hotch.

"Aaron, why don't you go help Jack get washed up for dinner and Emily can help me set the table." she said as she nodded toward Emily.

Hotch looked at Emily, concerned when he saw that she had turned away from them. Jessica stopped him before he could say anything by putting her hand on his arm and shook her head. 'Let me' she mouthed at him. He nodded and took Jack down the hall toward the bathroom.

Jessica walked over to Emily and turned the other woman around and hugged her.

"It's okay Emily. I know it doesn't feel like that right now but it will get better. I am so sorry. I wish there was something else I could do or say but I know that there isn't. But I am truly sorry Emily; for you and for Aaron." Jessica said and Emily pulled back from the hug.

"Thank you Jessica. I'm okay, really I am. It just hit me fast, that's all. Seeing Aaron with Jack just made me realize that my child will never have that. He is such a great dad to Jack and I know he would have been a great father to our baby as well." Emily sniffled as she wiped the tears from her face.

"Emily, you and Aaron can try again if that is what you want. I think you will be a great mother."

"How can you say that Jessica? You don't really know me that well. How do you know I will be a good mother? We have only been around each other a handful of times. How can you be so sure that I will be a good mother?"

"I know, because the few times I have seen you with Jack has left no doubt in my mind that you will make an excellent mother one day. Jack loves you and he doesn't just like anyone Emily. He is more like Aaron than Haley in that. Aaron doesn't just let anyone either; and the fact that he let you in says something."

"I wish I could believe that." Emily mumbled, more to herself than to Jessica.

"Well believe me when I tell you this. You are a natural mother; you don't have to work at the things to say to make a child feel better, somehow you just know the right thing to say. Look at how you helped Jack after Haley died, you were the one that got him to talk to you about what he was feeling. No matter what Aaron and I did, we couldn't help him. You were the one that he would call; you were the one that he wanted. Ever since then you have always had this connection with him, one that he doesn't have with anyone else. You are compassionate and caring, you are kind and loving but you don't let Jack take advantage of that either. You know how to tell him no when needed. You are more like Aaron than you realize you know."

Emily watched the other woman and raised her eyebrows, "Why do you say that?"

"He has this cold, tough exterior that he very rarely let's down. You are the same way, maybe not as cold as Aaron, but you have the tough thing down. What do they do, teach a course at the academy? Anyway, you show the softer side of yourself a lot easier than Aaron does but I think you still hold back a part of yourself from him. Are you afraid of him hurting you? If you are then you don't need to worry about that, I have seen up close and personal how deep he is in love with you."

"I know he loves me, I do. But sometimes I think I am going to wake up and it will all have been just a dream." Emily admitted to a woman she barely even knew.

"The day I found out about your relationship with him was the day I found out how deep his love for you is. I had come over to drop off Jack and Aaron was in his office sitting behind his desk crying. I sent Jack to his room and I went over to Aaron, he had never even heard Jack and I come in. He looked up in shock when I touched his arm; he tried to wipe the tears away. I finally got him to talk to me about what had him so upset. He told me about the one night you two spent together. Not in detail, mind you, but he told me when he left the next morning he knew that what he said had hurt you. He said he had never wanted that and that he wanted nothing more than to go back in there and comfort you and admit to you that he loved you. He also told me what happened to you and that you had lost your and his baby. I have never seen him look so broken before. Aaron has always been the one to follow the rules, and no matter how much he fought his feelings for you, after everything with the baby he couldn't do that anymore. I was standing there with him as he called the Director and told him everything; he was prepared to be fired that day. He told the Director that he didn't care what happened to him but there was no way in hell that he would sit by and let you be fired either. Don't you see he was willing to give up his job, his career for you? Something he never would do for Haley. I knew then that he loved you more than he had ever loved Haley. Oh he loved Haley with all his heart, I know that but his love for you is so much deeper than the way he loved her."

"He never told me that, about talking to the Director." Emily whispered.

"Just know and believe he does and give yourself time. When the time is right you and Aaron will have a baby and you will be the best mom. Believe me, I know these things. If you ever need to talk, I am here okay?" Jessica said with a smile as she hugged Emily again.

"Thank you, for everything. I need to go clean up, I don't want Jack to see me like this." Emily said and smiled back at Jessica.

"Take your time; dinner will be done in a few minutes."

Emily went quietly down the hall, passing Jack's room on the way to the bathroom. She saw Hotch sitting in the floor with his son coloring. Hotch looked up and she smiled at him before she continued to the bathroom. Just before she made it to the bathroom door Emily felt two small arms wrap around her legs. Emily turned around to find Jack standing there looking at her. She knelt there on the floor in front of the boy and smiled at him.

"Hey Jack, how are you sweetie?" she asked him.

"I'm okay. I've missed you Emmy. Daddy said you got hurt but that Uncle Derek got the bad guy." Jack looked down at his feet before looking back up at her. "He said that my baby brother or sister died too. I'm sorry Emmy." He said and threw his arms around her neck as a new batch of tears rolled down her cheeks.

At that moment Emily felt a peace come over her as she held the little boy in her arms. She hugged him to her and just let the tears wash away the pain she had felt when she first arrived. He was a light at the end of the dark tunnel she had been in the past few weeks. He was her light. Out of everyone who had been there for her, he was the first one to give her back the hope she once had; a hope for something more in her future.

"Are you and daddy going to have another baby?" he asked her quietly as Hotch stood behind his son looking down at the two of them.

"I don't know, one day maybe but if we don't I'll always have you Jack. You make me happy Jack, you and your daddy make me happy. I don't need to have another baby to do that but yes I want to have a baby with your daddy. Would you be okay with that one day?"

"Yeah, but I want a baby sister though 'cause I want to help protect her. If you have a boy he won't need me to protect him like a sister will." he said seriously.

Hotch and Emily laughed and they heard a small chuckle from behind them and they turned to see Jessica wipe a tear from her face. "Dinners ready, Jack come help me sweetie." she said and held her hand out for the boy.

Emily stood and looked up at Hotch and smiled as she moved to wrap her arms around his waist.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked against her hair.

"I'm perfect Aaron, just…perfect." she whispered back.

Emily knew then that there was nothing that she wanted more for than the love a child. And she knew that she had that in Jack, if they never had another child it would be fine because there was nothing she wouldn't do for that boy. Nothing she wouldn't do for the love that child. He may not be her blood but that didn't matter, she had his unwavering love and that was all she needed. Jack and Aarons love was more than enough to fill her for a lifetime. This is where she was meant to be, this is where she felt whole. And if one day they had a child of their own then that would only add to the fullness she felt in her heart.


	15. Loves Promise Renewed Part 2

**Chapter 14**

**Loves Promise Renewed Part 2**

**August 1****st**** 2012**

**Aaron Hotchner's Apartment**

Emily stood and looked up at Hotch and smiled as she moved to wrap her arms around his waist.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked against her hair.

"I'm perfect Aaron, just…perfect." she whispered back.

Emily knew then that there was nothing that she wanted more for than the love a child. And she knew that she had that in Jack, if they never had another child it would be fine because there was nothing she wouldn't do for that boy. Nothing she wouldn't do for the love that child. He may not be her blood but that didn't matter, she had his unwavering love and that was all she needed. Jack and Aarons love was more than enough to fill her for a lifetime. This is where she was meant to be, this is where she felt whole. And if one day they had a child of their own then that would only add to the fullness she felt in her heart.

Emily leaned back to lookup into his eyes, "I love you Aaron with all my heart and soul. I hope you know that."

"I do. Are you sure you are okay?" he asked, concerned for her.

"I promise I am fine. I just had a moment and it has passed. Jack is the best medicine for me, why did you tell him about the baby though?"

"He saw you crying before we left the kitchen and asked me why and I couldn't lie to him Emily. I don't ever want to lie to him."

"I'm not mad if that is what you are thinking. I just didn't think you would tell him something like that. He understands what it all means doesn't he? About us, I mean. That we are seeing each other? He's okay with that? I don't ever want to do anything to upset him." she dropped her gaze from his, worried about hurting the boy that stole her heart the first time she had saw him, not unlike his father had.

"Yes he is fine with us; in fact he is thrilled with the fact that you and I are seeing each other. He loves you Emily, never doubt that. He loves having you around."

"I love being around." she smiled, truly for the first time in weeks; she raised her head to look at him again.

"Come on let's go eat. I know you are hungry, I can hear your stomach growling." he wiped her face clean with the sleeve of his shirt and then took her by the hand, pulling her toward the kitchen.

They found Jack and Jessica in the dining room placing the last of the food on the table. Hotch had already insisted that Jessica stay for dinner even before he and Emily had arrived home. After dinner Jessica said she needed to go and pick her kids up at her in-laws house and Emily walked her out, needing a private moment with the other woman.

Emily stopped beside Jessica's car and waited for her to face her.

"Jessica, I just wanted to say thank you. But I wanted to make sure, are you really okay with this whole thing between Aaron and I? I don't want you to think that I am trying to worm my way in with Jack and replace Haley. I would never do that, I love him with all my heart and I will always want him to remember her and if there is anything I can do to insure that he does, I will do it."

"Emily stop. First, I have no reservations about your relationship with Aaron. I know him and I hope to get to know you better as well. I think you are good for both of them and as far as you trying to take Haley's place… that never even occurred to me. I think I know you well enough to know that that isn't your style. I know you love him and want the best for him and that is all I can ask from anyone Aaron chooses to see. But I can tell you that I am glad he has chosen you. You make them happy Emily. Don't ever doubt yourself in thinking that you don't. I am happy for you both, really I am. Just promise me one thing."

"Anything, if I can." Emily replied without hesitation.

"Be there for Aaron, accept him for who he is. That is something Haley never could do. Just make them happy Emily, that's all I can ask."

"You have my word, on everything I hold dear, I promise to give my all to them both."

"Then we're good. You and Aaron have a good night. I'll see you soon okay?"

"Absolutely, maybe we can catch lunch or something soon." Emily said as she hugged her.

"Definitely, we'll set up a time soon." Jessica said before she got in her car and pulled away.

Emily made it back inside to find the living room and kitchen empty. She found the Hotchner men in the bathroom; Hotch was sitting on the side of the tub as Jack took a bath. Emily left them there without a word, going to start cleaning the kitchen.

She had just finished loading the dishwasher when she felt two arms wrap around her waist from behind her. She leaned back into the solid frame behind her. She loved the way she felt when he held her. He made her feel safe. He made her feel like she had finally found a place she belonged, that she could call home. She felt at peace, maybe for the first time in her life. He made her feel loved; above all else, he made her feel loved.

Emily turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling up at him.

"I love you Aaron Hotchner, more than I thought I could possibly love anyone." her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"I love you more Emily."

"Not possible." she grinned.

"Okay, let's just say that our love for each other rivals no other." his arms tightened around her slightly.

"Agreed." she said as she pulled his head down and kissed him.

Hotch pulled back, "So do really want one of us to sleep on the couch? I promise not to try any funny business if you want to share my nice comfy bed with me." he deadpanned.

"I think that can be arranged, but the first time you touch something you're not supposed to I will break your fingers." she quipped.

Hotch's face dropped, suddenly serious, "I promise we don't have to do anything until you are ready. No pressure, I promise. I just want to hold you."

"Aaron, I was picking. I won't break your fingers."

"I'm serious Emily nothing will happen until you are ready."

"Aaron I know that. I like you holding me. You make me feel safe, like I finally found a place where I belong. I feel like I am home when you hold me." she said.

Hotch smiled at her before dropping another kiss on her lips. He pulled back, "Come on, let's go to bed."

Thirty minutes later there were both showered and dressed. Emily walked out of the joining bathroom and saw Hotch standing by the bed in nothing but a dark blue pair of sleep pants. She stopped in her tracks and stared at the muscles in his back stretch and flex as he pulled down the covers on the bed.

Damn, he was sexy as hell, she thought; nearly moaning out loud at the sight of him. He turned and caught her watching him and smiled.

"Come on Emily, it's not like you haven't seen me shirtless before. Would you prefer that I wore a shirt to bed?"

"Um no… no need." she said hurriedly and then she blushed at how she sounded.

She wore a long baby blue t-shirt that fell mid-thigh and pair of burgundy boy shorts underneath.

Damn she was sexy, he thought as he watched her walk towards the bed. She smiled as he held the cover back for her to climb under. He followed her and then reached and turned the light out. Emily scooted closer to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. He smiled to himself as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

He kissed her on the head, "Goodnight Emily." he whispered against her hair.

"Goodnight Aaron, I love you."

"I love you too." he said, squeezing her tighter.


	16. Fire

**A/N: So sorry that this has taken so long to update. I really have been busy and having a sick child having to do breathing treatments it hasn't been easy to keep up with my writing. Well I do hope that you enjoy and maybe my lack of sleep hasn't made this suck rocks. **

**Chapter 15**

**Fire **

**August 1****st**** 2012**

**Aaron Hotchner's Apartment**

Damn she was sexy, he thought as he watched her walk towards the bed. She smiled as he held the cover back for her to climb under. He followed her and then reached and turned the light out. Emily scooted closer to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. He smiled to himself as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

He kissed her on the head, "Goodnight Emily." he whispered against her hair.

"Goodnight Aaron, I love you."

"I love you too." he said, squeezing her tighter.

Emily woke to find herself plastered to Hotch's back and her arm wrapped around his naked waist. His skin was warm beneath her fingertips. She ran her fingers over the taut muscles of his abs. She remembered the way they had twitched and trembled beneath her touch the night they had made love over and over again. He had loved her that night and loved her well. Then the morning had brought forth the all dreaded words she had never wanted to hear but knew she would. But now here she was in his bed beside the man she had given her heart to so long ago, even though he had never known.

She leaned up propping herself up on her elbow, she watched him as he slept. She unconsciously ran her fingers along the plans of his chest and then around to his back. Leaning down she trailed a line of tender kisses across his shoulder to his neck. She licked and sucked the sensitive spot she had found there all those weeks ago. Hotch moaned and stirred but that didn't deter her in her assault on his neck. He turned over and pulled her against him, lowering his lips to hers he kissed her passionately and thoroughly. He finally lifted his head just enough to see her face clearly and smiled.

"What brought that on?" he asked her quietly.

"I don't know… I just couldn't help myself. You seem to bring things out in me that I have never felt before." she said as she pulled his lips back to hers.

Hotch tried to resist her, but it was useless. The passion he felt with her lips on him was slowly driving him insane. He had wanted this since their first kiss but he didn't want her to feel pressured into this right now. He knew she was hurting, so was he. He didn't want this to be about them trying to ease that pain. He wanted this to be about them and them alone.

"Emily… wait." he said pulling back from her again and he could see the confusion in her eyes. "I want this to be because we want this not because we are trying to ease our pain."

"Aaron, this has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that I want to be with you. Please don't stop… I want you. Please make love to me Aaron. Please." she said.

He brought his lips to hers again, kissing her with more passion than he knew he had in him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, rolling to her back she pulled him above her. He groaned as he felt her hands move over his biceps and down his sides where she grabbed hold of his ass, pulling him flush against her. She moved against him, grinding her hips against his, pulling another moan from deep within his chest. One of his hands gripped the back of her head as the other trailed a burning path down her side to her hip. Her skin was on fire, the flames engulfing her, burning her alive.

Hotch reached down and grabbed the hem of her t-shirt and pulled it up over her head. He looked down at her body, remembering there night together. He loved how responsive she had been that night, how responsive she was now as she lay beneath him. He had never been with another woman who had been as responsive as Emily. The passion within her lit him on fire, a fire that was all consuming as it tore through his body with just a touch from her.

Her hands were everywhere as she tried to get closer to him. She moved her body against his, relishing the feel of his skin against hers. She reached down and pushed his sleep pants down over his hips as far as she could reach. He sat up and pushed them the rest of the way off, throwing them to the floor. His fingers reached for the lacey trim of her panties, sliding them down and off her long legs. He settled himself between her spread thighs he stared down into her lust filled eyes. Emily could see the flames as they flickered in his eyes and she knew her eyes reflected the same flames as his. Hotch lowered his lips to her breast, pulling a nipple into his mouth.

"Aaron…" she moaned and threw her head back against the pillow, her hands were in his hair holding him to her.

He worshiped her breast as he made love to her, slowly taking her to heights far beyond any she had ever been with anyone else. It had been like this their first night together. It had been wild and passionate as he took her in every way she could think of. He had bought her to the edge so many times that night. He had told Morgan that they had slept together five times that night but he had given her double that in her own orgasms. He had always brought her release before he sought his own and then brought her over the edge with him.

Now here she was again, being loved by the only man she had ever truly loved. She didn't want to fall over the edge first this time; she wanted them to go together.

"Aaron, please… I want you in me when I cum… please." she begged him.

Hotch looked up at her and knew he would do anything for her. He moved back up her body, kissing every inch of her on his way. As he settled between her thighs once again Emily wrapped her legs around his waist. She could feel the length of throbbing against her core and she moaned. Reaching between their bodies she took him in her hand and lined him up to her core, raising her hips she enveloped him within her tight walls.

"God Emily…" he groaned as he dropped his head to her shoulder, biting her gently.

Emily began to move beneath him as he tried to regain some control. Her movements did nothing but drive him deeper within her tight, wet heat. He lost all semblance of control and grabbed her hips he began to move, stroking her deeper with each thrust he made.

"Aaron… oh God… please… don't stop." her voice was husky with desire.

"Emily…" he moaned again as his thrusts became harder.

"Yes…" she moaned against his neck and then bit him as she felt the first tremors of her orgasm as it built deep within her. Her mind was spinning as he thrust into her faster. His thrusts were becoming more erratic, as he climbed higher towards his own release.

Emily's hands held onto him, pulling him closer to her as she fell over the edge. "Aaron…" she cried out as her walls clamped down on him, pulling him over the edge with her.

Hotch groaned her name as he fell over with her. With one last thrust into her, he released his seed deep within her walls. His climax was so hard that he fell on top of her, but she didn't seem to mind as she clung on to his sweat covered body. After a few minutes Hotch finally came back to his senses and realized his full weight had pinned Emily beneath him and he quickly rolled to the side, pulling her flush against him.

"Are you okay?" he asked her as she lay there quiet.

"I'm great… just content at the moment… but I might need your help later on. You know, I might get the urge to lose myself in you again." she smiled up at him.

"I think that can be arranged." his lips caressed hers gently before he curled around her once again.

They lay there content, wrapped in each other's arms. They drifted back into the land where dreams ruled the land and monsters didn't exist. In this land their dreams were as one, and happily ever after's were not a dream but more a reality than either of them had ever hoped for.


	17. The Morning After and the Epilogue

**Chapter 16**

**The Morning After and the Epilogue **

**August 1****st**** 2012**

**Aaron Hotchner's Apartment**

"Are you okay?" he asked her as she lay there quiet.

"I'm great… just content at the moment… but I might need your help later on. You know, I might get the urge to lose myself in you again," she smiled up at him.

"I think that can be arranged," his lips caressed hers gently before he curled around her once again.

They lay there content, wrapped in each other's arms. They drifted back into the land where dreams ruled the land and monsters didn't exist. In this land their dreams were as one, and happily ever after's were not a dream but more a reality than either of them had ever hoped for.

**August 2nd 2012**

**Aaron Hotchner's Apartment**

Hotch woke early the next morning to an empty bed, the clock read seven thirty. He hadn't slept in this late in a while. He was already late leaving for work, but for some reason he didn't care today. He could hear the rattling of dishes and giggling coming from the kitchen. He would never get tired of that sound; the sound of the woman he loves and his son laughing together. It was a sound he would love to wake up to every morning. Having her here with them made him feel like he was finally whole again.

He laid there listening to the sound of their laughter for a few more minutes before he crawled out from between the covers and made his way down stairs to the kitchen. He stood there and watched his two favorite people as they iced the cinnamon rolls on the counter. He smiled when Emily looked up and saw him leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Good morning. What are you two doing down here?" he asked.

"Daddy! Emily and me made you homemade cinn'mon rolls!" Jack said excitedly.

"They smell delicious Jack. Are they ready to eat yet?" he asked and looked up at Emily giving her a wink.

"There almost ready, we just have to finish putting the icing on them and then you can have at them," she smiled brightly.

"Jack do you need any more help?" he asked his son.

"No daddy, these are for you so you don't get to help. You just get to eat them. Em'ly is helping me," Jack said as he iced the last one.

Hotch sat down on the bar stool and waited for them to get done. He hadn't realized he was as hungry as he was until he smelled the cinnamon wafting through the air.

Emily turned and got some plates from the cabinet, placing a roll on one for Jack and handed it to the little boy beside her. She dished up Hotch a serving before she got one for herself. Handing Hotch his plate, she smiled at him and then leaned in and kissed him softly.

The three of them finished their breakfast and Emily cleaned up the kitchen. Hotch got Jack ready to go to his aunts for the day and then he got ready for work. Jack was out of school for Professional Development Day so Jessica said she would watch him.

Hotch finished donning his suit and went and found Emily in the guest bathroom putting on her make-up.

"You know you don't need to wear that, you are beautiful without it," he said as he watched her reflection in the mirror.

"Thank you, but there is no way that I am stepping foot outside of this house without it," she laughed and then continued with her lipstick.

"Emily, you realize we didn't use protection last night don't you?"

"I know. Are you upset that we didn't?" she asked as she turned to face him.

"Not at all, I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it."

"I'm fine with whatever happens but if you aren't ready for this then we can use something next time," she gave him a smile.

"No… I want to have a baby with you, but has your body healed enough to even consider getting pregnant yet?"

"The doctor said I should wait at least six months before trying again, but either way I would be a high risk pregnancy so I figured why try and prevent it. But we can wait; it will give us time to get used to being together."

"I like that idea too. Now hurry we are already late and I still have to take Jack to Jessica's. You know they are going to be talking when we get to the office. I have never been late for work; Dave is going to have a field day from this."

"Yes sir," she said with a smile.

Forty five minutes later they strolled into the BAU, their hands entwined.

Dave smiled at the two from the catwalk outside his office.

"You're late Aaron. I thought Emily would be a positive influence on you but I think I may have been mistaken," Dave said from his perch against the railing.

Hotch gave a small smile, "It was not my fault, Emily kept me up late last night and well… I had a hard time getting up this morning."

"I would not be admitting to having a hard time getting anything up Aaron, especially in front of your woman." Dave quipped, laughing as he turned to walk away. He turned back around, "It's good to see you smiling again, Pumpkin," he said seriously before leaning over the railing giving Emily a kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you," she whispered and hugged her friend tightly. "It's good to have something to smile about."

**Epilogue**

**December 24, 2012**

**Aaron, Emily and Jack's House**

Hotch came from tucking his son into bed and sat down beside Emily on the couch, pulling her into his side. The living room was dark besides the light coming from the Christmas tree. It was a spectacular scene before them. The whole team had come over and helped decorate their new house. It made it that much more special to have their family help.

It had been Thanksgiving and they all had come over to celebrate with them. After dinner they put up the tree and everyone had helped with the decorations. Each had brought a special ornament for the tree. Dave had hung mistletoe over the front door and he and Reid helped Morgan hang the icicle lights around the outside of the house. Of course he was the one dictating to them about how to hang them.

Everyone on the team had a stocking hanging on the mantel over the fireplace and would be over the next day, after they spent time with their own families.

This Christmas was going to be one that Emily would never forget. Her family had made it the best time of her life. She loved each and every one of them and there was nothing that she wouldn't do for them. That is why she had invited them over tomorrow, it was a time for family and they were hers.

Emily sighed as she snuggled closer to Hotch. She had a special present to give him but she had been waiting for the perfect time. Now was that time. Jack was asleep and everything was quiet and she couldn't think of a better time or place to give it to him.

"I have something for you to open tonight," she said quietly, getting up and going over to the tree, bending down she pulled a small box out from beneath the branches before standing back up.

Turning to face the couch where he was sitting, she gave him a smile that would bring any man down to his knees.

"I hope you like it. I didn't really know what to get you but then I found… I thought this was the perfect thing to give you," she said as she walked back over to him. Kneeling on the floor in front of him, she set the small box on his knees and waited for him to open it.

Hotch smiled at her and picked up the box, pulling the ribbon loose he lifted the lid. His eyes were wide when he looked up at her. His smile beamed brightly in the lights.

"Wow… I'm speechless and ecstatic right now. Are you sure?" he asked as he pulled the slender white stick from the box, eyeing the two blue lines in the results window.

"Well I took four test and they all were positive. I made an appointment with my OBGYN for next week. But from the looks of it I would say Merry Christmas daddy," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He pulled her closer, kissing her deeply before pulling back. "Merry Christmas mommy."

**A/N: Okay folks', that's it for this story. I have to end it here because I have run out of steam on this one. I hope it is not too big of a disappointment for you. If it is I apologize. Let me know what you think and as always, thank you for reading.**


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